Do you have a princess of your very own? I do. Princess Gigi is 5, and she is full to overflowing with life and love. There is a boy her age at church that she dotes on. It is a strange relationship, because her level of attachment is very intense for a 5 year old girl that has a strong and healthy relationship with her whole family and with her Daddy especially. We do not encourage the attachment, not because there is anything wrong with the boy or his family, but because she is only 5. She doesn’t need to be caught up in worrying about a boy just yet, even a little boy from a great, Godly family. We do encourage a healthy friendship, though, and his family teaches him the same.
This young prince dotes on Miss Gigi, too—when he wants to. He’s a 6 year-old boy, so his level of wanting to play with a girl is very much lacking when compared to Miss Gigi’s desire to play with him. Church days are often spent on a rollercoaster of playing together verses Miss Gigi pouting, because her prince doesn’t want to play with her. Both sets of parents iterate the fact that they just need to focus on friendship and being 5 and 6. But the dynamic of their relationship can be so grown up at times. We can’t help but wonder if they will end up together one day.
This past Sunday morning, it was raining, and so I scooted Gigi out of the house to run over to Sunday School while I finished getting myself ready. We are living on church property in our RV temporarily, so she was only 30 feet from the front door. I watched her out of the kitchen window while she ran over to the Sunday School building. As she was about to enter, Prince Charming dashed out of the door past her. She hollered after him to stop, and he said, “Wait, Gigi! I’m coming right back.” So she stood outside in the rain, waiting for Prince Charming to pick her up on his way back by.
Still watching out the kitchen window, I saw Prince Charming quickly come back out of the main building and start toward Gigi. He looked up, saw her there, and changed his course and ran for a door further down the building. Gigi didn’t see him, because she had her head down, due to the rain.
My heart was crushed for her! I slid into my flip-flops and, though I’m no white knight, I went to her rescue. I got her dried off and on the way to Sunday School. I was so sad for her.
I went back inside and just bawled like a baby. My husband wanted to know what on earth was wrong with me. And the sad, little story came spilling out. But why was I really upset? It had nothing to do with the boy. He’s just a 6 year old boy. Avoiding girls is what 6 year old boys do best. My husband comforted me and told me that we have entrusted her to God, just like Prince Charming’s parents have entrusted him to God. We don’t know what lies in store for them as individuals or as, possibly, a married couple down the road. We don’t know if God has already placed a loyalty to him in her heart. It was a comfort, but….
I was upset, because I hated to see her willing to wait in the rain for any man, to put herself out for any man. The correlation to her future relationships was so obvious to me at that moment in time. She is deserving of a gentleman! She needs to value herself and not allow herself to be mistreated by anyone.
I was really just putting my own insecurities and past relationship failures onto her. I saw myself as having been left “standing in the rain” so many times, when all I wanted was to love and to be loved. So many times I had believed empty promises of “I’ll come back.” To see it so raw, so blatantly on display was just overwhelming.
I never wanted to have a daughter, because of the daughter that I had been. I never wanted a girl to go through the things that I had put myself through, to hurt and to be hurt to the magnitude that I had been. When I found out that I was unexpectedly pregnant almost 6 years ago, I just knew that God was going to give me a daughter. And when she got here, I fell so in love with her. And I fall more in love with her every day. I want to protect her. I want to shield her. I want to instill in her a mountain of self-respect that no one can ever tear down. I want to help maintain her innocence, her zeal for life as long as possible.
Sunday morning at the end of church service, Miss Gigi came out to big church after she was released from Sunday School. At the close of the sermon when it was time for the altar call, she walked down there with me. We sat on the altar, and I did all that I knew to do. I covered her in prayer. I presented her to God, for she is His to protect, before she was ever mine. I prayed for a healing in my own heart. But the next time I see her in the rain, I hope she is dancing and splashing in mud puddles.