(Please don’t pass judgment until you have read the whole article.
Not that anyone would ever do that, lol.)
As a blog owner, I enjoy viewing “search terms” that pointed someone to my blog. Recently, the term “expectations of a minister’s wife” popped up. That landed them on my Ministry Wives directory, because I didn’t have a post on that exact subject. But my gears have been turning : )
Then on FB just a bit ago, I posted that I was so tired, and a friend replied with: “I think naps and coffee are the best answer to dragginess. (And is it totally weird that I sometimes AM encouraged to know that people I look up to also feel tired at times?)”
And that was all it took—that little bit of inspiration from a reader to write this post.
Here is a Top Ten List of What I Expect Out of a Minister’s Wife.
1) I want a minister’s wife to be graceful, to encompass “ladylikelish” behavior (as my 5 year old Gigi would say). I want her to be demure and dressed nicely with modest necklines and hemlines, with her hair always fixed and her clothes matching and neatly put together.
2) I want a minister’s wife to be a piano player and a singer. Someone who can lead or someone who can follow. Someone who is just as comfortable blending in with the congregation as she is on the platform.
3) I expect a minister’s wife to pray and to read and study her Bible every day.
4) I expect a minister’s wife to never gossip, to never make an unpleasant remark about anyone, to always give people the benefit of the doubt.
5) I want a minister’s wife who loves all the members of the church, whose face lights up when the little ones play at her feet or whose face is compassionate when listening to the needs of the elders.
6) I expect a minister’s wife to always support her husband, to never embarrass him or to try to “one up” him in front of his congregation or his peers.
7) I expect a minister’s wife to be the first one to the altar and the last one to leave the altar.
8) I want a minister’s wife to have children who are well-behaved, well-dressed, and who are on fire for the Lord.
9) I want a minister’s wife who can sense when someone is hurting, and so she bakes them cookies or gives them a phone call or a hug, just to let them know she cares.
10) I expect a minister’s wife to be frugal with her money, but not cheap.
I listed all of those in the order that they came to mind. No editing. No rearranging. I am a people studier, and if you are, too, then you should have a field day with this list : )
What troubles me most is that I don’t live up to my own expectations. How can I expect anyone else to?
I was so quick to spit out these ten expectations that no single woman could ever live up to. Especially not me.
Oh, God, create in me a clean heart and renew within me a right spirit! This is my battle cry! I am so imperfect and broken.
I am not perfect. Please don’t expect me to be. Your pastor’s wife isn’t perfect, either. She is this creation that God calls “woman”. She was taken from an imperfect man, and so she herself can never be perfect. But she tries. Most days. Some days, she is the hurting one; she is the one in need. She has PMS, too. She has a family, too. She would enjoy just laying around in her nightgown all day, too, sometimes.
Be kind to the ministry wives in your life.
Be kind to all the women in your life.
Be kind to all the people in your life.
Be kind to yourself.
What are some of your expectations of yourself that you are failing at / succeeding at? The comments here are helpful to the ones who come here for advice and encouragement.
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